away for almost half an month

taking a break from the notes. i cant believe that i have been studying for everyday since last last sat. i think i am crazy! i am not THAT diligent student. it is just that i leave almost everything to the last minute. this time round, it was due to the tight deadlines for projects and assignments towards the end of the sem. sucks! i am finding an excuse to justify myself. i hate this!

there are 3 things in life that i cannot tolerate. excuses, indecisiveness and grey area.

not sure if it is me or the influence of my secondary school cca, i cannot take excuses. if you had made a mistake, so admit it. why is the point of making excuses to avoid the punishment? it does not salvage the situation, instead it sabotages you because it gives others a bad impression of you. no time is always the common one heard. seriously, i dont believe in the phase no time. everyone in this world has equal share of time each day, 24 hours. if others were able to do it within 24 hours, why cant i? it just boils down to time management. so stop telling myself to push things back because i have no time for it.

given an option, i am sure there must be a preferred one over the other. dont tell me lame stuff like anything, i am fine with both. and the worst is to complain and whine about my decision at the end of the day. if you were really that smart in the first place, why did not u make the choice? i dont understand these people. make a decision, take a stand. is it really that hard for you to do that?

and so this brings me to my third most detest traits of people. i dont like grey areas although they often exist in life. black or white. take your pick. it is either right or wrong. giving others the grey area only add on to their burden and make them think even longer and harder. what is the majority? as long as it is more than 50 percent, can i consider it as the majority? or i should consider the majority when it is close to 100 percent. which to choose from?

why am i thinking of such things now when i am supposed to understand mathematical equations and formulas? back to the notes. =)

finally it is starting

they are finally ending. sigh of relief. this is not a break, just the start of another mugging season. not exactly looking forward, but not dreading it too. mixed feelings i guess.

i am loving my heartland bit by bit everyday. there is starbucks just near by house, like approximately 2 mins away if i walk and 1 min if i run. so it is a piece of good news. more fun! fish and co, thai express, subway, coffee bean, mof jap desserts. omg! i am loving every bit of this new place. hopefully it will last so that my life will be hip and happening. haha.

i finally found the perfect spot. actually i dont really find to look far for it. it is just right at my doorstep. i have been searching for it for a long time because it has not happened yet. it is just a matter of time. so i have decided to keep searching and fighting till i die. who knows, maybe the next step i make, i would achieve what i aim for.

just stay positive and look at the situation in many different angles. a problem right in front of me. i can choose to cry, whine and complain and push all blame to everyone except myself. all in all, i decide to give up. or a better option will be to motivate myself to try harder and ask. i want to choose the former and stay with it for the next few weeks. i want to be a winner and not a quitter.

yeah! let's bring it on now. =)

i am just like her

i did not tell you guys because i hate to see sympathy in your eyes

i heard this line while watching one of my favourites US dramas. i could totally feel connected to this character and it was clear why i like her to bits.

i guess i can describe myself as a time bomb. i dont really like sharing my inner thoughts and feelings with friends and family unless there is a need to or we are really very close. i dont see the need of making people to share my burden. but i think the ultimate reason is i hate to show my weak side to others. without sharing, everything is kept to myself, accumulating bit by bit within. who knows when will i explode and really leave this place?

nobody likes to be weak in comparison to others. i do not like to give up when things get tough. i hate to cry when i am faced with a problem because to me, crying means i am feeling helpless and it sucks. someone told me this before when i was pushed to my limits in secondary school, you cant cry in front of them. if you do, who is going to lead? simple, yet straight to the point.

i guess this is just my way of controlling extreme emotions.